“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
– Ecclesiastes 3:1
In a recent article I wrote about the importance of staying alert and maintaining balance in life, (rather than being at the effect of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or burned out). One way to stay centered and balanced is by not remaining overly focused on oneself, but to look around and notice there are those around who can use our helping hand. Each of us has tremendous talents we can use to assist and make a difference in the lives of others, which typically provides us great satisfaction and joy in doing so. Having said that, a key purpose we all have is to create whatever we desire along with the freedom to go in any direction we please. And to add on to Ecclesiastes (above), I suggest there’s a time to work, and a time to play; a time to give, and a time to receive; and a time to bring into reality that which we desire.
The challenge I see is that many people have difficulty in actually bringing into reality that which they want. We may set goals, but roadblocks seem to appear out of nowhere. We may take action, but still find it does not produce the results we want. We may have a strong desire to change our circumstance, but unconscious limiting beliefs keep us mired in the stuck position. New Year’s resolutions are great for a few weeks, but usually disappear by mid February.
So, what is wrong with this picture, and how do we become more successful in creating what we want . . . and feel a whole lot less stressed in the process? First, what’s wrong are two things:
- Most of us have been conditioned to think that happiness is acquiring something that we think or see outside us such as security, love, money, jobs, etc., is the ticket to ride the happiness train. Unfortunately, by viewing life this way we lose our power; we operate in a somewhat false reality because we aren’t alive in the present moment. Either we are thinking about the future or recalling the past and trying to figure out a new route to experience our good in the here and now. For years my own habit was this: when I did get something I wanted, I would think “this isn’t exactly what I went after”(thereby giving up any joy in receiving or opportunity for gratitude), and immediately went back to my head to try and figure out what went wrong or find a better way. I would also usually criticize myself for failing as well! The bottom line for me was that I still never experienced the present moment, that elusive here and now.
- For years we have been told that what we hold in consciousness, what we focus on, is what we bring forth in our experience. By focusing on that which we do not have, a goal or vision we think is outside of ourselves, we continue to create more of that outcome: not having that which we want.
Clearly some will argue the opposite . . . for they will have the experience of seeing what they want, going after it with concerted effort, pushing forward and achieving their goal. I can’t say that this method doesn’t work, but I can say from my personal experience that it’s a harder and a more difficult process than to attract and manifest into our lives that which we desire. But by the same token, sitting by a window and visioning having a million dollars show up will not make it come flying in. So there are some things to know about how best to manifest that which you want that goes beyond just creating a vision, taking action, and achieving an outcome.
So now on to part two: how to be more successful in creating what you want. Below are ten success principles to turn your desire into reality – and enjoy a stress-free time doing it!
- Don’t feel you must to go it alone. Call for assistance, and place your order with the Universe. Too many times we are afraid to ask for help. In my case, I somehow swallowed the belief that asking for help shows weakness, or being incapable of making it on my own. Reality: other people typically like to offer a helping hand, and it makes them feel good. So, let go of the embarrassment and jump in. Now, about the Universe. We are here to revel and delight in an abundant experience, and part of the Source of Life that is the initial Cause of our being. The Universe (or whatever name you wish to use) is back in the kitchen waiting for our order, and ready to cook it up at the moment it is placed! Now we do have the power to change, delay, or refuse to accept the order, and typically do so more than we know with our undeserving beliefs in ourselves.
- From a strong desire comes the need to make your intention clear to let the Universe (and you) know what you really want. It is far easier to focus on something specific rather than a mushy idea of what you want. And the Universe agrees! I find writing down your intention brings even greater clarity and power to it. So keep a pen a notebook handy. Let’s say you know you want something much different than your current reality, but aren’t yet clear about what that is – what to do? Apply “Rule #1”: not force something that doesn’t feel right. Go “general” with your desire, and consider the bigger picture to latch on to a “yes! – that’s what I want!”
- Ask yourself: “Am I really committed?” My personal experience is that if I am committed, amazing events unfold to support me. If I am not, then no matter how hard I push ahead and try to cross the goal line, it doesn’t happen. W.H. Murray knew what he was talking about as he experienced the risk and rigors while on a Scottish Himalayan Expedition: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness; . . . there is one elemental truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”
- Imagine how you will feel once you manifest your intention, and keep that feeling alive in your thoughts. Feelings are powerful – especially when we use our imagination intelligently and not let feelings manage us! Here’s the secret: imagine and add the positive feeling to your vision as if it were present in the Now moment! If you can hold this feeling for 17 seconds, you have given the Universe the OK to go ahead and begin delivering the goods! Your job is to listen to the cues delivered through your energized mind about what to do! The Universe will take care of How non-physical “structures” are created to unfold based on your order, and sets the stage for your actions to lead to success. Yes, we have a part to play in “conscious creation” – and we are responsible to act on insights, enthusiasm, and inspired ideas (our link to the Universe) that will keep the process of manifesting on track. By the way- take immediate action on those inspired ideas, for if you wait longer than 90 seconds the energy for action tends to fade away.
- 5. Energize your way to success! Think internal energy attracts outer experience aligned with that energy. There is scientific evidence that suggests all life is a form of energy, and that we each resonate at a certain vibrational frequency that attracts other things with that same frequency level. Thus, to change a situation, it is suggested that we raise our vibrational frequency to create alignment with that which we desire. Raising our frequency comes about as we immerse ourselves in goodness, wholeness, oneness of life rather than separation, judgment or criticism. For example, having gratitude for that which you already have resonates at a higher frequency than focusing on lack consciousness: that which you don’t have. The acts of meditation, prayer, feeling compassion and showing kindness to others also raises our vibration level. So combine thoughts and feelings with the goodness of your vision as already present, and bingo . . . your “rocket of desire” is on its way for the Universe to start its fun in setting up ways for you to achieve your clear intention!
- Conscious Creation requires Conscious Awareness of how thoughts create reality. I suspect many of us are pretty unconscious most of the time about what is going on “under the surface” of physical reality, and how our thoughts affect what shows up in our outer experience. So it is critical for us to pay attention to our thoughts, and actually take authority over them when we notice our critical voice having a hay-day! Some people suggest techniques such as yelling “Stop!” out loud, or saying “Cancel” when they notice a stream of negative thinking dominate their thoughts. When I am playing golf I invite my “critic” – the voice that is constantly telling me what to do, how to do it, and chastising me for doing it wrong – to go take a seat in the woods while I initiate my “natural swing” – the one my body knows how to perform quite well! And just as important is to notice when a belief pops up that suggests you cannot possibly get what you want. These limiting beliefs, taken on as young kids who were unable to discern truth from fiction, play havoc with our confidence, power, and remembering we are in charge! Consider asking yourself, “What’s going on here in my thinking that is causing this resistance?” The challenge is this: these limiting beliefs, stored in our subconscious mind and reinforced for years, are difficult to untangle. A number of modalities are taught to overcome these beliefs, such as Psych-K, Hypnosis, Subliminal tapes, etc., but in my thinking it all comes down to this formula: new awareness + reframing a belief + practice and reinforcement over time = change. Notice that it is up to us to reclaim our power that begins with awareness, and then taking charge over our thoughts to create the outcomes we want.
- Let go of that which entangles you to the past. Once again, here’s where awareness plays an important part. Oftentimes we just aren’t in touch with how we are holding on to the past, (for comfort, security, or whatever), that restricts our freedom to create, and move into the present moment where creating happens. While this may be normal human behavior (most of us aren’t prone to experiencing the discomfort of change), it does sabotage our ability to bring new experiences into our reality. What we hold in inner consciousness, whether we are fully aware of it or not, is expressed in outer circumstance. One example of this is when a divorced partner wants to create a new relationship but in some way is holding on to the previous relationship, not much happens until a complete letting go occurs. A more deeply seated example is this: when a young child is reared in an unhealthy emotional environment and comes through it with “not good enough” or not deserving thinking, it becomes hard to accomplish goals or achieve intentions. This is why healing those limiting beliefs requires a process to establish a new empowering habit. New habits take practice to instill in our thoughts and behaviors. This one has four steps: awareness, immersing oneself into the negative (fear based) feelings, releasing the feelings, and claiming a new powerful paradigm to live by.
- Ask good questions and listen for the answer. If you find yourself stuck in a rut that you can’t seem to get out of, remember this: there’s always help available. And here’s how to get it. When your mind is uncluttered, usually first thing in the morning is best, sit still, take a few deep breaths, calm yourself, and know that the Universe is right there ready to answer any question you pose. Ask your question with clear intent to get the answer. The listen – without interjecting your own thoughts into the mix. One of two things will happen: either you will “hear” your answer right away, or you won’t! But stay hopeful, because the answer will come. Try “living in the question” without trying to force the answer to appear. Be patient; stay aware and look for signs of the answer/response showing up – which may come from a stranger, or an unusual situation from which you know “this is it!”
- Give away (to others in need) that which you want more of. Neale Donald Walsch (NY Times bestselling author of the Conversations with God books) spent a whole seminar on this recently, sharing how this one message from God turned his whole around. Even as Walsch was destitute and living on the streets, if he had something to share with another person in need and gave it away, more of that would come his way. Walsch said that God recognized he was a conduit to give, and thus supplied him more of it to share with the world. I suspect that “heartfelt giving” works far better than giving out of any measure of obligation. Feel good about making a difference in the lives of others, and more will come your way. Try it with money, time, talent, goods, or anything someone needs that you can provide. Rotarians have a motto worth remembering: “Service Above Self”; but in this case “Self” benefits the one who gives as well!
- Practice looking through the eyes of Good to remain in the FLOW. The big question is this: does the weather, the season, or any outside circumstance – whatever it is – dictate how you feel? How about if a tornado rips through your house and demolishes it? How about if a close family member suddenly dies unexpectedly? Or how about if you win ten million dollars in the lottery or get a fantastic promotion? It is certainly not easy to affirm that nothing outside us can dictate our reaction or response to any given situation, even though in theory, that is the truth. So given the theory is correct, doesn’t it follow that we can choose to look at the glass half full regardless of the circumstance? We can determine ahead of time just what we want to look for? Yes . . . and because some people can and do live this way means we are all capable of looking out through our eyes of good as well.
Can we shift to this way of viewing the world overnight? Probably not. Just as practice leads to habit which leads to our response, the same is true if we want to shift direction. I recently asked my good and wise friend Dan how we change a habit. His answer: we start. That’s all, just start. Commitment helps for sure, as do the other strategies mentioned above, including this one: lay the groundwork ahead of time. If you want to live a more joyful and positive life, I urge you to make a gratitude list, and write down just three to five things every evening you are grateful for. Do this even if you don’t want to and would rather retreat back into your cocoon of self pity. I know – I’ve been there . . . lots. But change will come when we consciously take charge of our thoughts, and focus on gratitude versus complaint. Looking through the eyes of Good raises our vibration frequency, attracts more good, keeps us in present moment awareness, and automatically sets up the possibility of FLOW to happen. You know when hard things seem easy, or when each moment unfolds effortlessly, or when we feel aligned and connected with our body and those around us? Or when a 50 foot putt drops in the hole, or a last second jump shot from 40 feet goes in for the win? You know . . .
F eeling fully alive and without fear
L etting the Good happen on its own
O wning fully the experience of love
W ishing for nothing different from what is
Life is not just about getting or having what we want, although there is nothing wrong with that. But to truly live is to experience . . . to feel . . . to be alive. So welcome that which comes your way, and enjoy the “good”, and fully feel the “negative” before moving on. Keep “balance” in mind, and stay aware of when you are being thrown off center. Stay aware of your thoughts, and cancel the ones that might attract just what you don’t want. And when you notice what is going on, give yourself a break by letting go of any judgment you may have about yourself. You were born as pure goodness, and remain so today – even when it might seem like life has dealt you some difficult blows. Remember, you have the power to step away from confusion, complexity and overwhelm. You can always “move” into the “eye of the storm” at anytime by interrupting negativity with a few deep breaths, and move to the peaceful center of now . . . the present moment of non-attachment and wakefulness. And if you choose, the practice of meditation will calm the crazy stampede of thoughts, and refuel your experience of the basic goodness of life.
Finally, stay balanced by taking the focus off yourself, show kindness, compassion, and love to those around you. We can all use more of that . . . and what you give will surely come back your way.