Untangle the Knot!

When things aren’t falling into place and working the way I want, my initial reaction is to push harder and try to change the outer condition that isn’t to my liking. Often it’s “not perfect enough”. But the result of my making one change after another does not necessarily make things better—and sometimes just more complicated and frustrating—until I am all “tangled up in a knot”.


In my teenage years I worked as a camp counselor during the summers. Often times a young boy would come up to me in the locker room following swimming lessons, and hand me his old sneaker with the laces tightly tied up in a knot. I can only imagine that when the laces would not come untied easily he would pull on them harder, thinking more force was the answer. The lesson here, then, is to do what the boy did: stop trying, search for another way out, and ask for help.  


But before outlining the steps to untangle the knots we unsuspectingly create, it is important to understand the context in which creative success happens. We need to realize that what we create, or what shows up in our view, directly mirrors our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Or said another way, what appears in our lives is a direct match for our energetic vibration. When things aren’t going as we want and we try to force a change in the outer conditions, we drive another nail in our coffin of frustration. Why? Because consciously or unconsciously we focus on what isn’t working, and our energy spirals downward attracting more of what we don’t want.


So to change the outer circumstances in which you experience the “knot of frustration”, you first need to change your inner condition which will then attract the outer condition that you do want. And it all begins by first taking your attention away from the situation, so you can then re-direct your thinking and feelings to what you want more of. Which is the beginning step to my PIVOT Your Way from Tangled to Freedom method outlined below.


Pause when you feel frustrated or blocked by interrupting the course you are on. Staying on the same track will typically only make things worse. Interrupt the energy or vibration of feeling stuck by taking physical action to get out of your head. Like taking three deep breaths, standing up, or physically moving in some way. This will help you return to the present moment, rather than trying to fix your frustration by listening the voices of ‘could have’, ‘would have’, and ‘should have’ thinking that only keeps you tied up in knots.


Interject a gentle and affirmative reminder to yourself, such as “I can do this!” When all is said and done, life comes down to this: you have authority over your thoughts. Take back your power, rather than giving in to circumstances or negative beliefs that seem to dictate your situation. Remember, beliefs are not real, they are just beliefs! (But we first need to honor them before letting them go.) And when you affirm the truth — that you are the author of your life — feel what a difference that makes in your demeanor. In addition, feel grateful for who you are, the goodness of your being, and how you are making it through this game of life and coming out on top!


Vision the outcome you want, knowing you have the prerogative to ask for assistance in bringing that about. Maybe ask the Universe, Source, or your Higher Power for what you do want; or maybe ask your friends for help in some way. In either case, start with a feeling of the experience you want and are requesting, as if it were occurring in the present moment. I call it this a “vision-feeling”, because you are projecting your heart-felt desire into a picture of the outcome you are seeking in the present moment.


Open your eyes to see the opportunity that comes knocking at your door in the form of insight, ideas, and inspiration to take some action to unclog the pipes! When you feel enthusiasm wash over you, that’s the message to get moving! It is not a time to rationalize why something will not work of why you shouldn’t move forward. It is the time to be bold, to take the bull by the horns, kiss fear goodbye, and become the powerful person you are as you fully express yourself. WOW! Notice how great it feels to be back in charge of your life and not stuck with your shoelaces tied together!


Trust that your new found FLOW and ease will continue. But remember, if your new intention is not immediately showing up, be patient. Know that your good is on its way to you, as the Universe has already set into motion opportunities to come your way. Just stay hopeful with an expectancy of good, trusting that all is well. Do, however, keep a vigil for fear thoughts approaching, and cast them away from your own love-filled harmony within.


When you PIVOT your way from feeling stuck and back into freedom, you take authority over your mind and rediscover the power within you to create newness, joy and greater success. And by starting the process with only with a few breaths, you will get back on track to creating the way you want your life to flow!

About Jim

Jim’s innovative and influential style of coaching and facilitation stems from over 15 years of Management experience in Human Resource and Organization Development. He has written two books, and has coached others in the area of Personal Development for the past 20 years.