Change Happens – From the Inside Out

Have you ever gotten to a place of momentary awareness that your life has been shaped by a belief that turned into a way of living that no longer serves you? I have. It happened again recently as I was listening to a webinar talk about something that was actually unrelated to my new ‘ah-ha’ awareness. I saw how my whole life evolved from this one decision that colored everything that happened after that, even though I was totally unaware of how I was shaping my own destiny with the paradigm I was holding as true.


The thing about these paradigms, in addition to our often being unaware of them, is that they are neither true nor false, but are acted out according to the power we give them. In my case I discovered how I was holding myself in relation to being dominated by authority and responded in the very best way I deemed possible: to subtly hold myself as a victim of circumstances rather than acting as a full participating creator of my own reality. What a gift it is to come to clarity!


There was a prior event that happened a few days before my lightning strike of insight that added fuel to my interest in making a change. This occurred in watching a few minutes of an NFL football game on TV. (While I am not a fan and don’t watch football games in general, I do sometime watch a few plays as I click through the channels on Sunday afternoon to get to the golf channel!) Since I have spent over twenty five years living in New England, I tend to hope that the Patriots are the victors in these duals of gladiators (as they represent in my mind).


If you aren’t aware of it, Tom Brady, the quarterback of the Patriots, is known for his ability to lead the team to victory in the 4th quarter when the team is behind. And sure enough, it looked like the Patriots would fall to the Giants once again. With just a little over a minute left on the clock and with eighty yards to go for a score, the Patriots were behind by 2 points. What I noticed was not just the plays that ensured, but the presence of Brady on the field. I actually felt that he was not only determined to win the game, but felt sure of it. He simply wasn’t going to lose, and did not even appear to consider the possibility. And even with 4th down and 10 yards to go to keep the drive going, Brady hit his receiver for eleven yards. Miraculous, you might say. I say it could not have happened differently given Brady’s resolve.


So, the moral of this story is this: whatever happens is deeply affected by the thoughts and determination you hold relative to your underlying beliefs. If you feel like a victim in some circumstances, or undeserving in others, you attract those results. If you feel like a winner and a powerful creator, that’s what you get. The point is this: no paradigm is best, or right, or wrong. Beliefs just attract back the energy of the feeling-thought unconsciously expressed.


Is there a way to get clear about your underlying beliefs so you can change your thoughts and change your life? In part ‘yes,’ in part ‘no.’ The yes part can be found in a process I share in my new book, The Joy of Living — Seven Steps to Give Up Worry, Open Your Heart, and Love Your Life now available on Amazon. (If you want to check it out just click this link:


The ‘no’ part has to do with the combination of readiness along with the request for help to find your answer that the “Universe,” or your intuition, is always ready to answer. Life is an unfolding journey that flows from experience, beliefs, lessons learned, insights, and frustration from which asking for help often occurs. But that’s life: the happy parts and the unhappy ones. But as one of my teachers says, celebrate the unhappy parts as they are the ones that lead to desire for change and expansion. Which is what living is all about.

About Jim

Jim’s innovative and influential style of coaching and facilitation stems from over 15 years of Management experience in Human Resource and Organization Development. He has written two books, and has coached others in the area of Personal Development for the past 20 years.